Rules of the Grocery Store

Beware, I feel a rant coming on!

I do all most of the grocery shopping in our house.  It is quite an ordeal.  I usually go to 3 different stores.  I’ll tell you about that another day.   

Since I go to so many stores, I see a lot of stupid things that people do.  I used to think people just checked their brains at the entrance to Disney World, but now I know they check them at the doors to grocery stores too.  To combat this, I have come up with a preliminary list of rules for grocery stores.  What do you think?    

1. Get out of my way:  Don’t stand in the middle of the doorway having a conversation.  Don’t surround the baskets so I can’t get one.  Don’t take up the whole aisle.  Let’s just share the space and I won’t have to drag your butt into the parking lot and out of my way!
2. Watch where you are walking:  Similar to the one above but now we are moving.  Can we all attempt to follow standard traffic rules while in the grocery store? Imagine that the cart is your car. 
3. Speaking of walking, while in the parking lot…:  Yes, I have to yield to pedestrians while I am in a car and you are on the cross walk BUT, don’t let your brats kids run into traffic; TRY to move faster than a leisurely stroll; and if you aren’t on a cross walk but someone stops, acknowledge them with a wave/nod/smile.  As my mom always said “You may have the right-of-way, but the car will hurt you more than you hurt it”. 
4. Take any open spot:  Honestly, you could be in the store and done shopping in the time that you waited on that upfront spot.  Think of the few extra feet as your required exercise for the day and save people from having to wait behind you.  Oh, and the fire lane, that is not a parking spot.  You screw up traffic while parking there or waiting to pick someone up. 
5. Put your cart back where it belongs:  I HATE when people leave their carts all over the parking lot.  This is particularly offensive when there is an area for carts TWO parking spots down.  This is just more exercise that you know we all need.   
6. Use a debit card instead of checks:  Especially if you are in the speedy checkout line. And if you insist on writing a check, have the date, name of the store and your signature on it before the total is rung up. 
7. When using change..:  I get it, it sucks having a lot of change in your pocket/wallet/purse but it also sucks to be behind the person who feels the need to count out $1.47 in nickels and pennies and then dig through their purse for the last 2 cents.  So, use change but be considerate in the usage.  Sometimes all you have to do is give a few pennies to prevent yourself from getting more in return and have your change ready.  And know when to admit defeat – aka, have bills ready.  I won’t tell you to use a debit card instead – I am all for using cash instead of a card. 
8. You are in line and realize you forgot something…:  TOUGH!  You have a few acceptable options here. 
   1. Pay, leave your bags in the cart, run get your item and stand in line again;
   2. Send someone with you to get it, but ONLY if they can make it back before the cashier is done ringing;
   3. Get it another day. 
9. Learn Math:  Yes, I know, we have machines that do math for us today.  But when you get in line with 6 things that cost $2 each then realize you only have $10, you deserve to be smacked.  Seriously, a lot of places require a manager to delete something that has already been rung up.  So lucky me that has already unloaded a full cart of groceries now has to wait for the manager because you are an idiot.  
10. Speaking of math…:  I know your momma said you were special, but when the sign says 10 items or less, they mean TEN ITEMS OR LESS.  Don’t think I don’t see you sneaking in 5 extra cans of cat food.  Yes, I know the other lines are long.  Deal with it. This is math related right?  Because it has to do with counting. 

I guess the moral of the story is use common sense and have a little bit of consideration of the people around you.  I know, common sense and consideration are dying terms today but let’s see if we can get them off of life support.  I’ll try to follow all of my rules too and then we can all be one big fat happy grocery store family. 

I’m done.  Thanks for reading if you got this far down…I promise to not do this too often 🙂  Anyone else have any rules I should have added to the list?